Intro

A common question is what cheating is. Foundationally, cheating is a betrayal of trust.

For this topic, it’s essential to know the synonyms of cheating and infidelity and their opposites.  

Cheating and infidelity synonyms

Cheating, unfaithfulness, and deception are synonyms, and infidelity, betrayal, disloyalty, and unfaithfulness are synonyms.

The spirit of cheating and infidelity involves doing something secretly that goes against explicit or implicit agreements, which, if discovered, could cause pain and lead to a lack of trust and possibly a reevaluation of the relationship.

Different types of cheating

There are various forms of cheating. For instance, if I tell my wife I won’t use my credit card but then do and later reveal that I have charged $5,000, that constitutes a form of financial cheating and infidelity (true story).

The reason is that I violated an explicit agreement, and when I informed her (it's better to tell your partner rather than them find out), it caused her pain and made her reevaluate whether I’m trustworthy.

What we typically associate with cheating is being intimate with someone else. 

This type of cheating often violates an implicit agreement: we will not seek emotional, physical, or sexual connections outside of the relationship.

As a result, it’s done secretly, which fuels the affair. Side note: Esther Perel in her book State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity writes that romantic affairs don’t usually survive once discovered.

Nevertheless, cheating secretly breaks an explicit or implicit agreement; if discovered, it can cause pain, erode trust, and possibly cause the hurt partner to re-evaluate the relationship.  

What if it was an implicit agreement?

Say one partner sought, pursued, and engaged in an emotional connection with someone outside the relationship who could be considered a potential partner and kept that relationship secret.

A couple may not have explicitly agreed that this is not OK. 

However, suppose the involved partner has hurt the other partner with such a connection (usually by intentionally keeping it a secret). 

In that case, this can be cheating, and as a result, the hurt partner defines what cheating is.

Partners in this situation may find comfort in the fact that nothing physical occurred, but this can impact their trust because questions arise: 

“What if it hadn’t been discovered; would it have gone further?” 

Or “What did you tell them about us?” 

Or “Were you planning on leaving?”

What’s the opposite of cheating?

Loyalty, faithfulness, honesty, openness, and integrity are opposites of cheating and infidelity.

The main element of cheating is that it was done secretly, so the other person would not find out.

Breeding ground for cheating

As a couples therapist, I know that when a couple is not open with each other and has drifted into roommate status, it can create a breeding ground for partners to seek connection and intensity outside the relationship.

Additionally, they may behave in ways that would hurt the other if discovered, often justifying their actions by rationalizing that they aren’t getting what they want from the relationship anyway.

I recommend couples go to therapy in this phase to see if they can negotiate their wants and needs in their current relationship.

If cheating is discovered, couples therapy for infidelity can significantly increase the chances of recovery and fostering of a better relationship, provided there is motivation to do so.

Conclusion

Whether it involves financial dishonesty, emotional secrecy, or physical infidelity, the core issue remains the same: cheating is a deception that undermines the foundation of a partnership.

Since every relationship is unique, what constitutes cheating may vary based on explicit or implicit agreements between partners.

The impact of such actions on the hurt partner often defines what is considered a breach of trust within their relationship.

However, honesty, transparency, and mutual respect are essential in preventing betrayal and fostering a healthy, secure bond. 

Those are the antidote to cheating and infidelity.