Thanks for taking the relationship quiz!
Please note: This quiz is based off of attachment theory. Our upbringing and the person we’re in a relationship with affect our relationship style.
Because of many factors, if we scored highest in this category, we can think of ourselves as “Island-ish.”
- Productive and creative – especially if given space.
Common relational stumbling blocks for islands:
- Your reflex for space and withdrawal can lead to your partner’s anxiety. Your partner may assume or ask:
“I must not be a priority.”
“Do you want to be around me?”
“Am I too much for them?”
- Another may be not taping into the benefits of sharing feelings and vulnerabilities, as well as embracing and sharing your wants and needs.
Because of many factors, if we scored highest in this category, we can think of ourselves as “Wave-ish.”
- Empathetic to others
Common relational stumbling blocks for waves:
- When there’s anxiety or uncertainty around connection, you may have an unhealthy preoccupation with your partner, or “bomb” them with your need to connect – which usually leaves you with the opposite of what you’ve hoped for.
- When giving feedback to your partner (when your partner is open to listen), you may speak for awhile (think out loud) and share more than one thing at a time. This makes is so your partner may be unable to respond to your specific need.
- Able to see both sides
- Equally OK with connection and autonomy
- Knows the inherent benefits of connection and intimacy
- Works for “win-wins” in disagreements
- Can listen to feedback without getting defensive (most of the time)
We can all be Anchors when in our centered, adult state-of-mind. However, when we’re stressed or disconnected, we may revert to “Island” or “Wave” templates.
Didn’t take the quiz? Scroll down to the footer. ⬇️
The quiz is called: How Do You Show Up In Your Relationship?