If you are in a relationship where your partner is struggling with substance use, it can be deeply painful. This is if the person you love and who you have extensive history with, is, in a way choosing the bottle or the drug over you. As a result, you may personally has no issue with the substance, but you end up resenting it since you are losing out to it.
If you are considering entering my office as a couple and you wish to work on this together, I want to share my approach with you.
I feel that addiction prevents intimacy as you will be unable to be intimate with your partner while they are turning to the object of their addiction and not you.
However, your partner may not believe they have an addiction and that is fine, they may not. We will devise a “drinking contract” to find out. As a couple, I will want you two to agree on what amount of use is acceptable if any. You will also agree to when it will be acceptable to drink. This contract may be helpful as the partner who is using just needed some more structure.
If the contract is breached by the partner who is using, I will ask that they consider they may have a problem and to seek additional help. If they agree to do so, let’s shake on that.
Once there has been some sobriety or the partner is receiving help for their addiction, then it can be productive to work on bringing you two closer and creating more intimacy as a couple.
To set up an initial phone consultation or schedule an appointment click below:
- Check out Colorado Al-Anon if you need support around your loved one using.
- Check out the CRAFT model for a more structured non-intervention approach.
Relevant from the blog:
- Sobriety is a Sign of Health, Not Failure
- Couple Therapy is Sign of Health, Not Failure
- Being at Home in Relationships: Taking Care of Your Side of the House