A couple was in my office recently and they expressed a desire to handle their relationship difficulties “in-house.” They conveyed that since they were unable to do so, they felt like failures.
However, because relationships are difficult, we often need help. Insanity means doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. Thus, getting help with your relationship is a sign of health as you two have taken stock and realized that problems are not going to improve without a trained professional.
A purpose of couple therapy is to help you two avoid the same old, worn out arguments and manage conflict without it spiraling out of control.
A problem I often see it that partners think the best way to get their needs met in a relationship is to put their needs over the relationship. This creates resentment, and resentment does not make your partner more giving and nice. If one partner feels they are losing, you both end up losing.
Couple therapy can identify this and help you both change if you are willing. Thus, going to couple therapy is a sign of relationship health.
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