Counseling for Couples

Through my training in PACT and RLT and my experience with couples, I have identified core skills and phases of relationship health that I call relationship recovery.

Relationship Recovery can help with problems resulting from:

In our journey together to relationship health, I will help you and your partner to:

  • Increase empathy for each other’s needs
  • Identify and communicate your own needs
  • Understand your partner’s fears and vulnerabilities
    • Know what can alleviate those fears
  • Take ownership of your side of the relationship house (your side of the relationship)
    • Understand the origin of certain learned behaviors
  • Learn how to be vulnerable to connect and repair
  • Experience the importance and benefits of connecting through emotions
    • Experience being seen and feeling felt
  • Establish healthy boundaries and limits
  • Known when and how to ask for space
  • Heal from past hurt
  • Develop gratitude and appreciation for your partner
  • Recover from an affair (if applicable)

Each relationship is unique. These phases below are lenses that inform my work and are customized to each couple. 

Phase 1: Willingness to work on the relationship

In the beginning, it’s important to assess and address the motivation each partner has in working toward their relationship goals and making new, healthy experiences. We will also help partners perceive how their own actions may get in the way of what they want.

Phase 2: Understanding your partner’s pain points

Here we will identify your and your partner’s pain points and what you are saying or doing that may make them worse. The purpose is to develop empathy and understanding for each other’s fears, vulnerabilities, triggers and attachment styles.

Phase 3: Helping your partner succeed

On understanding each other’s pain points and triggers, you will practice the antidote, or actions to alleviate those pain points. This means learning and practicing what provides relief and healing — what enables your partner to be the best version of themselves. Also, here we will learn the importance of asking for what you want — helping your partner help you.

Phase 4: Repair and reconnect

We will learn how to lead with vulnerability, relief, and empathy instead of anger or shame, reaching underneath anger to give your partner something to connect with. In repairing and reconnecting, listening can be the most difficult, but it’s the most effective way to recreate harmony.

Phase 5: Accepting your partner’s imperfections

Finally, we will learn how to appreciate and accept each other for who you are (perfectly imperfect) and not who you wish your partner to be. We will learn to cherish each other and create relationship goals, values, and mutual agreements, building a lasting framework for your relationship to thrive and grow.

Working together

Q: How long and how frequent are the sessions?

A: Our first session is at least two hours long. This provides enough time to understand your goals, how you are as a couple, and to highlight ways you can break your negative cycle and continue to build a positive one. In the beginning, it’s important to have subsequent sessions every other week or weekly to keep the momentum going. Subsequent session are usually one and a half hours (every other week), or one hour (weekly). Some couples do wish to continue having subsequent two-hour sessions.

  • If you wish to put more work in up front, or are on the brink of divorce, an initial three-hour session, or a couples intensive is recommended.

Feel free to call 720-272-9573 or set up a free fifteen-minute phone consultation to discuss how to proceed or answer any questions you may have.

Request Appointment

Published in the PACT Institute

  • In this PACT blog post, I write on how to repair with vulnerability.
  • In this PACT blog post, I write on the importance of partner primacy in blended families.

Highlights from the blog:

Below are unsolicited testimonials that clients have taken the time to write.

“If you are looking for a marriage therapist, or just wanting a tune-up, I highly recommend Jason. We have seen other therapists before and none of them are as skilled as he is. His exercises he had us do, and his ability to get to the heart of issues is amazing. We didn’t get lost in the weeds. I wish we would have found him years ago!  We are so grateful to have found him now and for the future.”

“Jason – you were incredible! Thanks for an extremely productive visit.”

“The approach was great.”

“Jason is highly trained in cutting-edge methods to guide couples who are struggling to keep their relationship together. Both of us were equally comfortable with his ability to listen to each of us with sensitivity. We were fortunate to find him at just the right time.”

“Jason I really like you and your approach and I will be happy to refer you in the future. Thank you for your help.”

“Thank you so much for all of your help, humor, and advice and we will definitely be in touch if we start reverting to our old habits or just feel the need for a tune up.” 

“We really enjoyed meeting with you, and found it very helpful!”

“Good meeting tonight. Things are good, we’re moving in a really good direction. We both want to give you a huge thank you.” 

“We have felt so much closer since working with you.”