Intro to Losing Strategies in Relationships

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Jason A Polk: You saw the first video on creating a home in your relationship and in order to do so we have to take care of our side of the house. The first step in taking care of our side of the house is to look honestly at our losing strategies. We all do these losing strategies at one point in our relationship, hopefully less than more often. In the following videos, I’m going to help you identify your top losing strategies. I’m going to teach you how to mitigate the consequences of those losing strategies. These are losing… Continue Reading This Article

Turning a Relationship House into a Home

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 Jason A Polk: Hey, what’s up everyone. Jason A Polk here giving you some quick coffee shop relationship advice. So I want to share with you today the obvious fact that relationships are difficult. Nothing is more difficult on this planet Earth than being in an intimate relationship with someone else. And I want to share with you a framework that I have found helpful to have in the context of our relationships. And that is to view our relationship as a house. Both partners need to take care of their side of the house. That means simply that… Continue Reading This Article

Mike Gets to Work

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Mike was shaken by the questions asked by his couples therapist: “Do you want to lose your family? Do you want to spend Christmas alone, or hear about your kids going to baseball games with their new stepdad? “This is what will happen if you don’t change…” For the first time, Mike really felt sadness and fear, waking up to this potential future. His anger and self-centeredness were driving his wife Katie away and creating resentment with his kids. Katie had clearly expressed that she was near the end of her patience. Finally, he was connected to the consequences of… Continue Reading This Article

Common Female Mistakes

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Jason A: Hey, what’s up, everyone? Jason A. Polk giving you some coffee shop relationship advice. And hang on one sec. It’s really hot. My choice of tea was peppermint black tea. I highly recommend it. Jason A: Anyway, last week, we did dumb guy moves. And it’s only fair, I want to even things out. Today, we’re going to talk about common female mistakes. And again, I want to give kudos to the Oscar winning actors, Dan and Madi. Check it out. Jason A: So in this scenario of a common female mistake, it is continuing to engage your… Continue Reading This Article

Dumb Guy Moves

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Jason: Hey, what’s up everyone. Jason Polk here giving you some coffee shop relationship advice. Hang on. However, we are still not in the coffee shop. We are still partial quarantined. What’d you say Dan? He’s nodding. He says, “Yes.” Jason: So today what I want to talk about are dumb guy moves. And so these are moves that I’ve seen professionally as well as moves I, unfortunately, have done myself. So here’s some dumb guy moves presented by Dan and Madi. And the dumb guy here is Dan. No offense, Dan. You’re a good dude. Dan: Babe, I know… Continue Reading This Article

Interview with Shane Birkel

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Jason: Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m Jason Polk with Coffee Shop Relationship Advice. And I don’t know if people know this, but Shane Birkel is kind of a big deal. He has a couples therapist podcast, which, Shane, I don’t know how many listeners do you have thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions? Shane: Well, total download sounds really impressive. The total downloads is getting close to 400,000, so. Jason: Oh, okay. Shane: That makes it sound really important. Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Well, no, obviously, and thanks for being on here because- Shane: Thank you so much,… Continue Reading This Article

Moving from Disconnection to Connection

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Jason: Oh, so it’s time. Hey, what’s up everyone? This is Jason Polk, giving you some Coffee Shop Relationship Advice. Unfortunately, we are still not at the coffee shop. But that’s okay. And today I want to talk about repair and moving back into connection. Jason: Say you and your partner are in a state of this connection, and all you can make up in your mind is how you are right, and how your partner is wrong. I get it. I’ve been there many times. How do we get back into connection? Well, we have to talk. And by… Continue Reading This Article

We Always Have a Choice (in relationships)

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Jason Polk: Hey, what’s up everyone? This is Jason Polk giving you some coffee shop relationship advice. Thank you. However, we are not filming in a coffee shop this morning. I’m actually in my office due to the quarantine. But today I want to talk to you about choice. We always have a choice, whatever comes up. The great Indian philosopher, Krishnamurti says that true freedom is freedom from our automatic responses. Jason Polk: Let me give you an example. You and your partner had planned a quarantine date. Due to the toilet paper shortage, you are out looking for… Continue Reading This Article

Have Difficult Conversations

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Hey, what’s up everyone? This is Jason Polk giving you some coffee shop relationship advice. However, not in the coffee shop, the coffee shops are currently closed, coming to you live from my office, and I’m going to give you some awesome advice, so take a deep breath so you can really take it in. That’s (beep) weird. I want to remind you to have difficult conversations. Don’t wait for resentments to bottle up, make sure that you get them out. A good way to do that is to first lead with relief before you bring up something serious, for… Continue Reading This Article

Collaborating in Times of Fear

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As the Coronavirus hits our country, so does fear. Fear can be helpful when it helps us navigate dangers and stay alive. However, fear can also create stress and make us less likely to be open, collaborative, and loving at home. I’ve seen memes implying that since people are now home, they will be having more sex, and in nine months there will be a generation born called “coronials.” I don’t know about you, but for me, worrying about a pandemic and a likely recession, while the kids are also home from school or daycare, doesn’t naturally rouse my ardor…. Continue Reading This Article